I can’t think of a catchy title for this week’s post. Still, I’m trying to get on a schedule here and so I’m pushing myself to write a post today. Why is it “pushing”? Well, it’s a very long story that boils down to one word: Bronchitis.
For the past few weeks I’ve had a cough. Which is fine, really, until those coughs get horrid enough to drive me to the emergency room on a sunday. So, I figured I’d talk about being sick and how it’s affected my writing. I’m an aspiring author, after all, and some of these posts have to be about writing.
So. When it comes to my book, Trust, once I found the motivation to write the words just kept coming. Right up until about three weeks ago or so. Three weeks ago, I went to Texas for my first Furry Convention. I didn’t go as a furry, but to support one. I could write another post all about Texas Furry Fiesta and how fun it was, but let’s focus on the topic today. I didn’t expect to write during the convention – people go to cons to see the sights, meet people, dress up, buy things. During a lull in events I opened my computer and stared at my book. My brain, alas, was far too occupied with all of the fursuiters I’d seen for me to do more than stare blankly at the last scene I’d written.
I expected to get back into the groove right away. I loaded up the book eagerly, knowing that people were counting on me to get it written. And yet, suddenly, I was stricken with an intense hatred for my words. I tried to reread the book and couldn’t get past the first few paragraphs. This, incidentally, happened to coincide with the first of my symptoms.
Now, to these three weeks later, after my diagnosis of bronchitis led me to getting the really really REALLY good cough meds. Now my cough is better, and I’m able to think… well, not clearly. Insomnia has left my brains just a tad addled. But I can think logically, yes.
This whole experience has led to me a realization: How we feel physically affects how we write. Yes, I knew that emotional states helped with certain scenes – and certain scenes can elicit emotional states. Being depressed led me to write something I found psychologically disturbing and yet gave me this wonderful opportunity. On the flip side, one scene that I had to write jumped at me and once I wrote it left me an emotional wreck for the whole day.
However, feeling physically ill affected my whole mindset. Words I thought of as wonderful made me cringe. That scene I wrote that left me emotionally devastated, I was able to look at without batting an eye. Now that I’m on the mend, I’m able to once again look clearly at my words.
I don’t know how much sense this makes. I just hope this glimpse into my head helps people understand me. Now, it’s time to snuggle back into the pillows with some warm honey tea and Doctor Who.