These past two months have been both the best and the worst in my adult life. They are the best because the major source of stress in my life has been lifted. However, they are the worst because another source of anxiety has taken its place. Now, I have to worry about healthcare.
First, I did qualify for subsidies on the health care exchanges, which is great! Now, though, I need to provide documentation of my current income and of my loss of previous coverage. In theory, I should be able to use my last Walmart check stub, but I don’t know where to go about getting it without my social anxiety kicking in. My brain knows the process I should follow – call to have the printout ready, make a time to pick it up, scan, send.
However, I still have mixed feelings about Walmart. I feel shame because I let them break me and drive me away – their goal for some time, I’m sure. I’m ashamed because I let them win. It took several weeks before I could even stand to go in there, even, and I’m back to shopping. But, that’s all as a customer. This would be interaction as a former employee. I’m balking because I’m afraid, both on an anxiety and on a personal level.
I’m also wondering how I should go about getting proof of my loss of coverage. Perhaps I was already sent the notice? If so, there’s a real possibility that I misplaced it or threw it away as spam. In that case, I would have to contact the insurance company in order to get a copy of the end of my health coverage. How long will that take?
In the meantime, I have prescriptions that I can’t fill. Not because I don’t have them, but because I simply can’t afford them. I’m rationing my remaining medication until I can, hopefully, scrounge up the money to fill the most important, but whether I will be able to is up in the air.
In short – reality is far from ideal, and our health care system sucks.